{"id":238,"date":"2011-07-06T20:30:38","date_gmt":"2011-07-07T03:30:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/aberrantpress.com\/blog\/?p=238"},"modified":"2012-02-25T18:16:13","modified_gmt":"2012-02-26T01:16:13","slug":"michael-bay-wont-leave-me-be","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/aberrantpress.com\/blog\/2011\/07\/06\/michael-bay-wont-leave-me-be\/","title":{"rendered":"Michael Bay Won&#8217;t Leave Me Be."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I spent my entire weekend at the shop having this exchange: <\/p>\n<p>CUSTOMER (excitedly): Dude, you saw Transformers 3, right?! <\/p>\n<p>ME: Nope. Didn&#8217;t like the first one and heard the other two were worse, so I never bothered with them. <\/p>\n<p>CUSTOMER (confused): You didn&#8217;t like the first one? Why? <\/p>\n<p>ME (in bad Optimus Prime voice): Sam, we really need to get this thing called the All-Spark before the bad guys do because other-wise we are totally fucked so it&#8217;s hyper important and&#8230; Oh, shit. It&#8217;s your dad! HIDE!<\/p>\n<p>CUSTOMER (blank stare indicating how they don&#8217;t see this as an example of a huge insult to the intelligence of a child let alone a mother-fucking goddamn grown-ass man!&#8230; Huff&#8230; Huff&#8230; Okay, I&#8217;m better now): &#8230;&#8230;.<\/p>\n<p>This conversation happened a few times, in pretty much every case verbatim. The only way to calm myself was to do the math and realize that those who I had the conversation with only accounted for about 2% of the customers I saw over the last several days&#8230; Then I saw the weekend grosses for the movie&#8230; Shit.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I spent my entire weekend at the shop having this exchange: CUSTOMER (excitedly): Dude, you saw Transformers 3, right?! ME: Nope. Didn&#8217;t like the first one and heard the other two were worse, so I never bothered with them. CUSTOMER (confused): You didn&#8217;t like the first one? Why? ME (in bad Optimus Prime voice): Sam, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/aberrantpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/238"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/aberrantpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/aberrantpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/aberrantpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/aberrantpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=238"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/aberrantpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/238\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":495,"href":"http:\/\/aberrantpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/238\/revisions\/495"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/aberrantpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=238"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/aberrantpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=238"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/aberrantpress.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=238"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}