Michael Bay Won’t Leave Me Be.

I spent my entire weekend at the shop having this exchange:

CUSTOMER (excitedly): Dude, you saw Transformers 3, right?!

ME: Nope. Didn’t like the first one and heard the other two were worse, so I never bothered with them.

CUSTOMER (confused): You didn’t like the first one? Why?

ME (in bad Optimus Prime voice): Sam, we really need to get this thing called the All-Spark before the bad guys do because other-wise we are totally fucked so it’s hyper important and… Oh, shit. It’s your dad! HIDE!

CUSTOMER (blank stare indicating how they don’t see this as an example of a huge insult to the intelligence of a child let alone a mother-fucking goddamn grown-ass man!… Huff… Huff… Okay, I’m better now): …….

This conversation happened a few times, in pretty much every case verbatim. The only way to calm myself was to do the math and realize that those who I had the conversation with only accounted for about 2% of the customers I saw over the last several days… Then I saw the weekend grosses for the movie… Shit.